My journey from feeling lost… to finding myself on the trail
There was a time in my life when everything felt heavy.
Before I met my husband, I was in a relationship for almost 14 years that was very controlling and verbally abusive. During that time, I didn’t feel like myself. I felt stuck, unsure, and honestly… lost.
But in the middle of all of that, something small started to change things.
My youngest son and I would go for walks together. Nothing big – just getting out of the house, getting some air. One day, we decided to walk down a trail near where we lived, and that’s when we discovered we were right by the North Country Trail.
We had no idea.
From that point on, it became our thing. We started hiking together, just the two of us, exploring trails and spending time away from everything else going on in life.
Then one day at work, while I was at the post office, a customer came in and we started talking. Somehow hiking came up, and it turned out he was part of a hiking group. Before he left, he gave me a big hug, a hiking shirt and invited me to join them on their Tuesday hikes. I was ecstatic!
At that time, I didn’t realize how much that would change me.
Being around other people, being outside, moving my body, and just breathing – it started to build something in me that I didn’t even know I was missing.
Confidence.
Strenght.
A sense that maybe I could do something different with my life.
About a year and a half to two years later, I finally found the courage to leave that relationship and start over. I know that sounds like a long time, but by this time I had already invest 12 years into this relationship.
I truly believe hiking played a big part in me finding the courage and strength to leave.
It gave me space to think. It gave me peace. And it reminded me that I was stronger than I thought.
Today, my life looks very different.
I’m now married to a good man, and we’ve been together for three years. But like life tends to do things shifted again. We both got comfortable, a little out of shape (a lot), and I found myself dealing with things like weight gain and Type 2 diabetes. Read more about my journey with Type 2 diabetes here.
And somewhere along the way… I stopped hiking.
Once my kids were graduated and out of the house, I moved to the other side of the state to where my husband lived. All of the people I used to hike with – my group, my friends, – are no longer close by. Starting over here hasn’t been easy, and sometimes it’s hard to find the motivation to go out alone.
But I know what hiking did for me before.
And I know what it can do for me again.
So now, I’m starting over – again.
This time, my husband is going to start hiking with me, and we’re going to take it one step at a time.
Because for me, hiking was never just about the trail.
It was about finding myslef again.
And maybe… it still is.
